REALITY CHECK

•  Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

•  Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.

• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

• Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

•  Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say WHOOPPEE!

• How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

• When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, just think of Algebra.

•  You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

• I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

• The golden years are really just metallic years: gold in the tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the rear.

• Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of and gradually approach 18.

• One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

• Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.

• Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

• Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and blind that they don’t recognize you.

• If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.